Sunday, February 6, 2000 in I Forgot To Pick A Category

Fanatically ambivalent

I am not much of a fan of anything. I don’t mean I’m eternally grumbly or don’t really *like* much of anything, there’s just not a lot I’m a big fan of.

There is nothing I am “rampant fan” over. No tv shows I have to schedule my life around, no collectables I *have* to have or I’ll just die, no personalities I need to see every picture/show/interview of or own all their records just because, well, it’s them.

There are many, many things I love to do, that I enjoy participating in or watching or doing. But not to the point of obsession. At least not for long.

It’s been a few weeks of me playing the roller coaster tycoon demo, and it’s starting to pale. I can even quit in the middle. It’s still fun, though.

My journal reading has slowed down. I don’t feel the need to check every page twice, three times a day to see if anyone has updated. Besides, my ISP limit for the month is getting up there. If I go over, I pay extra. Yes, I can change that, but I like it this way. It diciplines me.

Even my belief systems at times are just… wishy washy. I believe in God and Jesus and if you don’t well that’s your business. Even if I think you’re totally way off the mark, I won’t argue the point. And I like to argue. Even if you’re Christian and don’t worship the same way I do, I’m like, yeah whatever. Go for it.

I wonder if there’s anything I *should* be all fired up about. Then I remember, that, yeah, there are things I get all passionate about, and then they fizzle. Or at least lose their shine. Still like them and all, but I put it in the “practicality” department I guess.

My point here, I guess, is that not much lights a fire under my butt these days. Or if it does, it doesn’t last long. Looking back over some older entries, I am right jazzed over some things, but now… let’s just say it doesn’t seem to matter.