There was a new second-hand clothing place that opened up, so we had to go in and check it out. It’s mostly a bust, but they are still getting a feel for it, so we keep trying. One time, Sarah saw this shirt so ugly, she giggled for a good ten minutes. We left without getting it, as it was over three bucks. (I think. I was hot and tired by that point.)
Like I said in the last entry, this week we found it in the dollar bin and snatched it right up. It took a lot of thought as to how to present this… shirt… in a manner that would show off just how wrong it is. I mean, everything about it is wrong. I waffled on even showing a picture of how horrific it is. Should it go behind a cut so you can choose whether or not to click? Should there at least be a warning?
At any rate, I just decided to go ahead and unleash the Pandora’s trunk of bad taste and questionable fashion sense.
Our anonymous model shows off, for starters, the sheer magnitude of the lack of sizing. Is it meant to hang like that? Reminiscent of the Flashdance cropped sweatshirt and sweaty welder-turned-dancer, it actually fails miserably making the viewer wish a welding torch would appear to relieve our eyes. Not seen in the picture above, the drape is such that it actually pulls up a bit, leaving a huge gap at your back. Presumably to show off one’s tramp stamp. (That would be a lower back tattoo.) This is highlighted as well by the self-proclaimed title of “Bad Girl“.
And we haven’t even talked about the color yet. When was the last time you wore green and yellow together, on purpose, and were not at a sporting event? It’s a case of too many twirls at the center of the roller rink, with the kid who’s trying just too hard to be cool. What a feeling, indeed.
The nasty seam finishing (such as it is) the haphazard cropping, the polyester of the fabric (Oh, I forgot to mention that until now), the colors, the lack of fit, yet the mysterious ability to make any wearer (however thin) look as if they’ve gained twenty pounds across their midsection all serve to render the viewer wishing they’d never heard of the eighties in the first place, let alone long for a style comeback.
And I’m thinking this may be a garment not manufactured recently, for the retro crowd, but one that was actually present in the eighties. Now, I don’t know about you, but my memory of fashions back then were surrounded by glitter and pastels. Leg warmers, roller skates with rainbow laces and satin baseball jackets, dolphin shorts and glitter transfer tees. Those were the DAYS, my friends.
*skates away humming with a toot toot, beep beep, uh-huh*