I refrained from posting for a while because I had a bad couple of days. Nothing could go right for me and I thought if I posted anything I’d be all emo or I’d be slobbering and blathering and that’s just not attractive, plus I’d probably screw that up too.
Some of it was amusing though.
Like when I went to get the mail and chat up the postmistress, and a neighbour came in, got her stack and proceeded to be very excited as she ripped open a letter and sat down to read it right there. I joked, “Is that your penpal from prison?”
“Yes,” she beamed. The postmistress affirmed it to be true. Hello foot, there you are in my mouth again.
The next day I tried to burn down the kitchen. Not on purpose, mind. Or should I say I had none at the time, for I slopped a couple glugs of oil in the frying pan, put the burner on HIGH and left the room to check my email.
No, I have no idea what I was thinking either, but my brain returned and was quite sharp when Meaghan yelled, “THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE!”
Thankfully it was just the oil in the pan flaming nicely and away from the cupboards. Good thing it was not the back burner or my white cupboards would be black too. I quickly got a lid, smothered the flames and headed it out the back door. The porch step is a little scorched from where I set it down, and the pan might never be the same again, but the smoke cleared pretty quickly after we opened all the windows and doors, and turned on the ceiling fans. Sarah’s cough was gone by the time she went to sleep too. And who doesn’t agree that it’s always good to practise your fire drills?
At least at the end of the day, my family still loves me. I’m a boneheaded doofus, but they love me anyway. I’m grateful.
I can’t say I’ve ever caught grease on fire, but I’ve managed a tortilla on the stove (more than once) while tending to one of the kids. Thank goodness I have a level-headed 12 year-old, who turned off the burner and pushed the flaming tortilla in the sink while yelling, “Mom! Your tortilla’s on FIRE!” D’oh.
So much for proofreading. That should say I’ve managed to leave a tortilla on the stove. Darn kids are distracting me again.
“Is that your penpal from prison?”
“Yes,” she beamed.
Hilarious!
Hilarious- so at the end of the your fans love you too.
I filled my house with smoke once when I was 12, I was “softening” a stick of butter for baking a cake…I threw it (wrapper and all) onto the rack in to the preheating oven. Needless to say I was standing in the middle of the smoky kitchen mixing away when my mom got home from work and FREAKED out. I hadn’t even noticed the smoke.
This is the story that STILL gets told at family gatherings, usually opened with “Gina had book smarts, but did you ever hear about the time she ….”
Yes, oil fire are very scary! I set the barbeque on fire by mistake – I forgot to empty the little collection pan at the bottom!
Best wishes
I love the ‘prison’ comment – that’s hilarious. I almost burned up our kitchen last winter. Sage had a cold, and I remember in a vocational term in High School a nurse showed me a great trick – stick a towel in the microwave for a bit to give someone a nice warm towel when they’re not feeling well. So I put one in and started the microwave. After a few seconds, I took it out and it was still cold. I put it in again for a few seconds, and still no warmer. After a few times a funny smell started to fill the room and I realized that the centre of the towel was quite warm and when I opened up the towel I saw that it had burned a large hole in the towel. Oh well…the best of intentions and all that…
Well, at least there was some fun in amidst the chaos. The post office- I always put my foot in my mouth like that.
Ugh.