Monday, November 12, 2007 in food

Recipe Friday, er Monday: Snark Edition

Usually I get an idea for Recipe Friday and write it up ahead of time, setting it to post early on Friday. Not this week. This week I was stumped. And I also got really busy with some work and didn’t get this posted on Friday.

The Kraft Canada “What’s Cooking” magazine showed up on Thursday. Now, don’t get me wrong here, I like the mag, it has tons of great ideas, and I do understand it exists to sell products. But every so often it falls short. It passes from annoying me right into plain insulting and obnoxious.

Exhibit A:
too simple to be true 2
That’s right folks, it’s a recipe for veggies and dip. Take veggies. Add dip. You too can be a culinary genius! I am glad they told me that because I would have had no idea what to do with these fresh veggies and this bottle of veggie dip. I mean, I didn’t go to a chef college or anything, so I do not know these things.

Exhibit B:
too simple to be true
What? You mean I don’t have to consume your products one at a time? I can mix them up? Or combine them to make more interesting meals? Who would have thought? The mind, it is truly boggling. Think of all the mealtime opportunities I now have. Cookies and coffee: who knew? And Jello plus Cool Whip PLUS fruit? Someone notify Bill Cosby. He’s gonna LOVE it.

And lastly, I bring you this gem from the previous magazine.
No, no you can't.

If you can’t read it, it says “Cream of mushroom soup and cheez whiz. With these items, I can go in lots of direction.!” No! No you can’t! If you mean a trip to the ER after a steady diet of it. And if you do think you can go lots directions with that, obviously you’ve already been consuming far too much of it and it’s affecting your brain. Put the can of soup down, please. Back away from the cheez whiz.

The rest of the magazine was good, and I feel compelled to note in the interest of full disclosure that I do indeed have some pages marked for me to try later. I HATE THAT YOU MAKE ME LOVE YOU, KRAFT. EVEN WHEN YOU INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE.

Comments

  1. OMG! I am cracking up here!

  2. Reminds me of something I was going to blog recently and never got around to it. We had a jar of Kraft Miracle Whip, and the recipe on the back label was for a turkey sandwich! I mean who needs a recipe to make a turkey sandwich?! Duh.

  3. omg. I noticed aerosol cans of cheese in our supermarket the other day. I just think that’s totally repugnant! cheese does not come in spray cans! It comes in blocks, preferrably covered in wax… or mould, if that’s what you like, or floating in whey or something. It can even come in a plastic pack, so long as it started out life in said block, but not cans!!! If it is of suitable consistency to spray, it can’t be cheese.
    Ugh.

  4. Thanks for the laugh! Kraft would have more luck just showing a cute kid smiling as he consumes his beloved mac & cheese instead of trying to disguise ads as menus.

    And I agree with you about the Cheez Whiz and mushroom soup. They are not food.

  5. I was laughing until I hit the last picture. That’s when the thought of “Cream of Mushroom & Cheeze Wiz Potatoes” almost made me gag! Dear god, who thinks up these things????
    Anne