Tuesday, May 6, 2008 in what a guy I married

Communication: the key to a good marriage

Ron and I were in the kitchen, working at our own tasks and staring at the walls a bit. I broke the silence.

“I was just thinking how I need to finally paint the kitchen walls.”

“Yes, you do. ” (My husband. So agreeable.)

“Actually,” I continued, “What I really thought of was saying how you needed to help me finish up the rest of the walls and get started on the painting, but then I figured you’d say something about how I was the one who wanted to do it, therefore it was my job and you have too many projects on the go already and don’t need me adding to your list any more than I am already and then I would have said you have a point and I really need to get at this.”

He dried off his hands. “I’m glad we had this chat.”


  1. Bwah! 🙂

  2. I thought of various things to say about your post, but this is what I’ve distilled the issue down to. Thought processes, like any muscle control needs to be exercised in order to function properly. Even though you ran through the conversation in your head first, if Ron was guided and intertwined within that block of conversation, his thinking process might hit upon the fact that fixing the walls is tedious, and that it should be a team effort.

    Perhaps the key to a good marriage is regular communication instead of summarized limited communication. Because that might just breed one-sided thinking instead of an open-minded compromising solution.

  3. I agree with CreativeHerb, since the longer the marriage the easier it is to NOT communicate.

  4. 😀 Guys, we’ve been together almost 20 years now. Just trying to highlight one of our funnier conversation, and maybe show how we *have* had the same conversation before, so ultimately, I knew how it would end.

    Not that he’s tryng to get out of work, rather that back when I stripped off the paper, I went into it knowing it was my job I fully volunteered for. 🙂

    We do know each other well enough that we can predict what the other will say (with 95% accurateness, 19 times outof 20). Not a lack of communication there at all, but an intuitive awareness of the other person, and an almost full realization of the “two halves of a whole” part of marriage.

  5. whew I somehow got a totally different perspective from reading that article then! Does he still put the seat down for you? 🙂

    Though I also stick by my belief that sharing work closely with each other will allow closer interaction and add to the understanding for each other.

  6. Yep, you’re bang on with that last bit – we work a LOT together, more so than most couples. you should hear our conversations, full of half-sentences and everything.

    A few times people have remarked about it saying they have no idea what we’re talking about. 😀

    (yes, he puts the seat down and opens doors 😉 )

  7. that sounds wonderful! It’s kinda sad to say, but with the marriage separation rate so nowadays, you guys have managed something truly special then. Keep it up!!! 🙂 Maybe you can post more about how you guys overcome arguments.

  8. Doncha just hate when they do that?

    Men – can’t live with ’em, need a buddy to help hide the body.


  9. I admit that I’ve been stalking this thread to read the comments and …

    JL! WOW! Welcome back 🙂 I remember you from the TMS days. Glad to see you around.

    (Mar, who is Willow’s mom)

  10. HA! I love his dry “glad we had this chat” reply. 😀