Who knew washing your pillow was so difficult?

So we got a new mattress this week. This lead to a bunch of jokes all over twitter when I said we were off to test mattresses. (“Excuse me sir, ma’am.. we’re going to have to ask you to leave.”) AND! Best part? The sales guy knew what WordPress was. This after explaining on please do not call us for a delivery before 9am, we work at home any time after that is just dandy. Also he was just beside himself when I tested a smaller chair and exclaimed, “Hey! They have chairs for Hobbits!”. He had just that weekend marathoned all the LOTR movies.

So, we are best buds now. AKA following each other on social networks.

Anyway, back to my point. Ron and I had a semi lovely night’s sleep on our new bed, since we took turns sleeping while the other one lay awake listening to snoring. From the deep sleep.

After that, I decided that maybe I could wash my lumpy pillow (I only bought it last year) and fluff it up some. Maybe it was the yelling and the loud washer-stopping noise or the smell of burnt rubber when I went into the laundry room-slash-back hall, but the pillow (which did not soak up water at the begging of the cycle) had soaked up half the water by the end and refused to be spun out. It;s like they had lined the pillow in oilcloth. I could hardly lift it.

I did manage to get my workout in squeezing out what I could and dragging it over to the nearby bathroom sink, where I squeezed some more and inadvertently discovered the sink is not caulked to the counter top. Bonus cleaning around the sink then.

Then finally in frustration at the idea of being there all night and/or sleeping on a damp pillow I grabbed a pair of scissors and cut a small line along the edge of a seam.

and *POOF* it let out air like a vacuum sealed bag of.. well something anyway. It was astounding. I could pour water out of it.

Eventually I put it back in the washer for a spin but it was too heavy to manage without the washer trying to disassemble itself.

So I put the middle of the pillow on the top of the agitator thing, balanced it in place with one hand and stuck my finger in the lid hole to trick the washer into thinking the lid was closed so it would spin.

And it worked.

And I still have all my fingers.

Next time I think my pillow needs a wash I think I will just go buy one.

You learn these things so we don’t have to. And for that we are profoundly grateful…

I am ALWAYS looking for the perfect pillow! I would be willing to pay WELL for the perfect pillow.
For now, I’m sleeping with Old Lumpy.
OH, and my pillow is lumpy too.